


Disremember

by TheXGrayXLady



Category: Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 13:35:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3412580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheXGrayXLady/pseuds/TheXGrayXLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All she did was swat at a bug, yet Cyrus flinched as though the blow was meant for him.</p><p>She thinks it hurts more every time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disremember

**Author's Note:**

> I think Anastasia is a hella interesting character and I love her, but I also think her biggest fault is that she has a hard time accepting responsibility for her actions. So yeah. Two AM drabbles.

“And these bloody mosquitos can…” Anastasia turned and raised her hand to swat at the offending insect. All she did was swat at a bug, yet so quickly that if she hadn’t seen it a thousand times before she wouldn’t have seen it now, Cyrus flinched as though the blow was meant for him.

She thinks it hurts more every time.

The click of her heels on the stone palace floors made him jump if he didn’t see her walking towards him. When she put in the carpets, she said it was to liven the place up and get rid of the cold floors. She said it often enough she almost believed it was to ward off cold winters rather than to stop the overwhelming guilt that flooded her when her friend and trusted advisor had to brace himself at her approach.

She almost wished he would outright blame her for what happened. It would be easier than hearing, “No, I’m alright, you just surprised me,” every time she spooked him. Alice could launch a sneak attack on him at any time at he would be all smiles. Anastasia didn’t surprise him.  She triggered a deep seated fear. Cyrus learned the sound of her footsteps in Jafar’s dungeon and her approach heralded some new torture the sorcerer had in mind. No matter what she did, no matter how many times he said she had nothing to apologize for, some part of him had never forgotten.

At least if he would rage and blame her, she could defend herself from what Jafar had done. She could explain that it wasn’t her fault. If he would stop being so passive aggressive and saying that he’d let it go when he clearly hadn’t, she would have a better chance at bridging the gap between them.

Alice on the other hand wouldn’t know passive aggression if it bit her. She even went so far as to shout at her after Cyrus had a particularly bad nightmare. Alice’s voice was half-feral as she said, “You did this to him.” She hadn’t even let Anastasia get a word in edgewise to defend against her accusations. Alice never let her explain that Jafar had done those things, she was only along for the ride. She didn’t want to hurt Cyrus, she only ever wanted Will back.

Yet so long as Alice shouted at her, she couldn’t think like that because no matter what she told herself, there was more truth in the accusations than she was comfortable admitting. So long as Alice shouted at her, she couldn't pretend that Jafar had forced her into imprisoning Cyrus. She couldn't pretend that he'd forced her hand every time she tormented him. 

Anastasia pushed Cyrus over a cliff and into a toxic cage. She’d deprived him of food and water for days on end. She’d used her magic to slam him into the bars of the cage and she gleefully listened to his screams of pain because it meant she was one step closer to getting Will back. Up until Will made that stupid wish, she had every intention of putting Cyrus back in the bottle. She had the genie, she had the bottle, she had no idea she would need the other two to make her wish. She thought she would get everything she ever wanted and it wouldn't cost her a thing 

But she didn’t. She hadn’t put him back in the bottle and she’d apologized for everything she’d done to him. She was working so hard to earn back his respect. He said he’d forgiven her for everything she’d done under Jafar’s influence. She still wanted to disappear every time he flinched in her presence.

Cyrus already looked like nothing happened by the time she lowered her hand. She wanted to forget and put it behind her as he had, but almost unbidden, she said, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” he asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

“Stop saying that.” She tried to keep her tone kind but for just a moment, she sounded like the Red Queen. “Stop acting like I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“But you haven’t,” he said. “I don’t understand why you’re…”

“You flinched. Please don’t pretend you didn’t,” she said, her voice wavering. “Stop saying I haven’t done anything wrong. Cyrus, you’re my friend and I care about you, but I have done terrible things to you. Don’t act like I haven’t because when you do I…” she wanted to say, “I can pretend I haven’t,” but the second half of the sentence caught in her throat. So long as she didn’t admit to it, she could pretend she wasn’t tired of feeling sorry for things she’d done.

He was silent a moment, carefully watching her.  His smile was warm as the summer sun, but his dark eyes made her wonder, not for the first time, just what he’d done to be made into a genie. When he spoke, his voice was so soft and so sweet that for a moment, she forgot how his silver tongue and talent with people mended her relationship with her citizens more than anything she could have ever done.

“Anastasia Tremaine, you have done nothing I need forgive.”


End file.
